A Vain Attempt to "Catch Up" Part 2: From Plain Will Come Pleasure

While driving through hundreds of miles of corn fields, you begin to appreciate your road companions. I'm not talking just about people, but other distractions like music, books, games, conversation, etc. Seriously: I could never live in the Midwest, because after awhile, even the distractions weren't cutting it. I felt like I had cabin fever, except that I was crammed into the driver's or passenger's seat (either one was equally uncomfortable, the ass grooves now cockeyed from hours and hours of compression, soaked in sweat and retaining every last bit of heat because some moron decided to put their winter coat over the top of it...OK it was me) in a mid-size SUV packed to the gills in near-100-degree heat with the windows down because I hate air conditioning almost as much as I hate stifling humidity, the whole time thinking "HOW THE FUCK ARE WE GOING TO MAKE IT ACROSS THE COUNTRY WITHOUT KILLING EACH OTHER IF I'M ALREADY MISERABLE IN MISSOURI?"

I promise no more run-on sentences for the duration of this entry.

In hindsight, it wasn't that bad. We stopped at a Motel 6 (and yes, they left the light on for us) for a night and kept on truckin' Saturday morning, rolling right into Iowa. I didn't see Slipknot. Sorry. We did, however see this:

Who doesn't love a good phallic symbol? I don't think we stopped once in the entire state. If we did, there wasn't anything worth writing about.

I gotta say, I wasn't expecting much from South Dakota until much later in the day, maybe even the next day (Mount Rushmore and etc). About halfway through the state, we crossed the Missouri River, the terrain suddenly changed from plains and cornfields to beautiful, desolate rolling hills, and I felt this indescribably good feeling I don't think I've felt since...well...ever. We also saw this:

Apparently there wasn't enough soil to bury the giant Minotaur. Fail, South Dakota. Just kidding. I love ya.

We hit the Badlands just a few hours later, but they're just so awe-inspiring and eerily soothing that I think I'll devote an entire entry just to them.