Today is Valentine's Day. I could write a cliche rant that you've probably heard a million times over. In fact, part of me really, really wants to.
But I won't. I honestly don't dislike it enough to write about it. In some weird way, I almost want to write about what the day is supposed to embody, or what I feel it should embody. But again, I won't.
Instead, I'd rather share a story.
It's no secret that I love Winter, and all seasons actually. So, when faced with inches of snow like we had in Northeast PA yesterday, I got semi-excited. Everything being covered in snow can look quite beautiful, like being in a real-life snow globe, and I don't mind shoveling. I usually find it invigorating.
After about an hour of shoveling, the euphoria of how awesome physical work sometimes feels was wearing off and my mind began to wander. I started thinking about situations in the past that haven't gone as I had hoped, financial concerns, other silly little annoyances, and suddenly the splendor of the snow globe I had been enveloped in was replaced by a gray slushy hell. The snow wasn't moving as easily. I began forcing it onto my shovel. I wasn't focusing, and so I was dropping some of it back on the sidewalk, making a mess and more work and more frustration for myself. I was not loving it.
I had to stop myself, take a deep breath and relax for just a minute. I calmed down. I wasn't angry at the snow. So why treat it like that? And suddenly it got a little easier. A few minutes later, a strange and wonderful thing happened. My neighbor came over to help, and brought along with him some home-brewed beer. While we shoveled, we talked. About pretty much everything. And then everything was wonderful again. I was loving it.
This, in a microcosm, is what happens all too often, at least in my recent experience: being focused on other things seemingly more important than the present moment and not appreciating it for what it is: a gift (hey, that's the title of this blog, don'tchaknow). I'm still working on that.
Sometimes everything feels right, and it's easy to love and find love in that euphoria. And sometimes everything just sucks and I want to stab kittens with lightning bolts (not literally, of course) and it's really difficult to love the situation I'm in. And sometimes when everything is super awesome, I want to share how I feel with everyone and it's great because I'm actually fun to be around. And sometimes I just want to tell everyone to fuck off. That would be tough love, I guess. Anyway...
Just to be clear, I'm not issuing a challenge or trying to argue a point here. I just needed to vent a little. And love the act of venting. And remind myself to love everything, even in frustrating times. Love all experiences. Love just being here. Believe that everything is awesome. It's easier said than done, and admittedly I fail at times, but it honestly just feels better to try to appreciate everything - from the simplest thing as a breath of air - all the time, not just because of a "special" day. Love breeds love. As one songwriter quipped, "Always love, even when you want to fight."
Happy Valentine's Day.
